How much longer in Separated?

[jon2911]

OK, actual texts, I'm about to lose them by upgrading iPhone (!) and want to have them as a journal:

1:50 AM My grandmother just had a stroke, we are @ the ER. God this looks bad
7:37 AM She's on life support, SIL will be in this evening
Me: OK, call me when you can

9:02 AM Grandma had a massive stroke @ the house around midnight. She's @ St. E on life support now. SIL and BIL are coming in tonight @ 10. The plan is to disconnect her after that. Please say a prayer for her. I love you.

Me: Love you too. I'll be here whenever you can call

11:23 AM Hey I'm sorry I couldn't talk. Papa and I came home to regroup

[K4D]

I love you.

Me: Love you too. I'll be here whenever you can call

Fantastic news. I couldn't be happier for you. Stay strong. It is getting closer.

How is that Ipad treating you? Been thinking about one myself. But may get the Adamz instead when it comes out.

Kevin

[MichelleLT]

Wow. Sorry to hear about that. It's so hard when stuff like that happens.

I'm sure she's busy with all that stuff, but she'll need to talk to you about it at some point. So, you'll definitely get to be there for her.

Sounds like things are still making good progress. I am glad to hear the update from you even though it was prompted by the medical issues.

[jon2911]

Thanks Kevin and Michelle! I do want to be there for her. Tonight she called and I missed it, so she texted me "my grandma passed away today. I'm a wreck and am off to bed."

I called right back, thanked her for the update, and made small talk for a bit, but then said I hope she sleeps well. She paused for a minute, then said "most people would say something like I'm very sorry for your loss."

I told her I said that yesterday, so I didn't know... She said she had to go. It felt very much like one of her dad's lectures on the proper way of handling every situation. And there's truth to it, I really didn't know what to say. It's also bringing up memories of when her mom died a couple months into our marriage and I felt powerless to help her then.

I found out that I can get off work early Friday to make it to a friend's wedding in Austin, and I'll stay there through the holiday weekend should be fun. I'd like to talk with W some too, tonight felt like a real step backwards but I know she's hurting.

[Drew]

Kevin,

Jon is dealing with a death in the family and you ask him about his Ipad????

Jon,

My condolences on your loss.

[MichelleLT]

I've found over the years that something along the lines of "I'm sorry about your loss, let me know if there's anything I can help you with" is about the most you can say or do.

Just be there for her. That really is doing something.

[jon2911]

Thanks for the advice, that's good to learn.

I've been thinking about and processing some things, so I'll just post them here. W had been dropping some hints, or at least testing the waters lately. Questions like am I dating anyone, or have I had any offers. I said yes On the offers, but I'm not interested and kept it vague. W also mentioned a couple comments from her aunt while they have a TV girls night on Mondays. First, in response to a storyline she looked at W and said "wow, she's really second-guessing that divorce, isn't she?" in a loaded sort of way. There was another couple who lived in different houses in different cities, and in comment her Aunt said "it seems to be working in your marriage".

W said we shouldn't care what anyone thinks, and I agree. It was interesting that she cared to say it. I've been listening, trying not to say too much, and she's very appreciative of that. It's a definite change. At the same time, if given an opportunity like that again, I think I'll take it to express that I feel like we are dating, and it's fun and I don't care to date anyone else.

Just a couple hours before her grandma's stroke, she said her head was hurting and asked me to sing her a song. I had played it at a friend's wedding and mentioned it to her. She was choked up at the end, and said she'd better go, but I kept her talking for a little bit which was nice. Haven't heard from her today, and may not for a little while. To be honest, that hurts, so I'm trying to remember the progress that has been made.

[jon2911]

Here's the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBvR4NCZ7aA&sns=em

[jon2911]

Missed a call from W last night at 11:00, but she called at 7:30 this morning and we had a nice talk. The wake is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow. She's been laying low and trying to rest while the family plans everything.

She mentioned her Grandpa is doing OK, but she's apprehensive already of a trip her Aunt and SIL are taking in a couple weeks that will leave her alone with him for two whole weeks. I told her I'm very sorry for her loss, and to please let me know if there's anything I can do to help, such as come visit during that time. That would be fun.

[jon2911]

Good weekend, talked with W in the night Friday night and then all the way home on Monday. She's coming in this weekend, as it's the only one she can get away. It wasn't ideal for me, I'd already committed to play a big festival gig on Saturday and at church Sunday. I really wrestled with wanting to cancel those things and be with W.

I mentioned this to her Wednesday and she said "maybe I'll come to church then", which would be incredible. It's been a tough week at work, actually got paid some overtime, but just got a call from W that she's almost here. I got a "Babe" on the VM, nice.

Goals for the weekend are to have a great time, show W that I have a full life here but she can be a part of it. I also want to mention that I'd like to come spend time with GFIL and W soon. They're both going to be lonely with the rest of the family out of town the next couple weeks. That would be great. Only 30 more minutes!