Wow we just talked about this at my counselor today! I told her how Dan chewed me out the other night and then first thing in the morning texts me a cheerful message. She said it is their way of making sure they haven't lost their 'hold' on us, so to speak. They may not want us, but they like having us around and if they do something to push us away they want to check back and try to ensure that we are still there for them if they decide they want something....
On the house items, I would say keep a short list of non-negotiables, if there are must-have things at the house that you want. In my case, I wanted to keep the kids' beds, my hope chest, some of that stuff. I knew he would want to keep the tools and farm stuff and telling him to just keep them (vs. selling them off and splitting profits) gave me some leverage in keeping the furniture.
And in some cases, you may want to keep the items for now even if they aren't on display. I would hate for you to throw something out because of the negative reaction you have now, only to regret it later.
