You have reached the pinnacle of your profession with a LOT of hard work, patience ( and patients) only to find out that what you really wanted, you hadn't really worked for and put the same kind of devotion toward , that you did to become a surgeon....???
this is very astute mach. and I say that not at all facetiously.
all I can say is that I wanted both. I was emotionally engaged in only one at the time because that was all I had in my tank. I was not able to do both well. I am not a good multitasker. I'm good at focusing on one thing at a time... thus the problem. my thoughts were- head down, bang this out, get finished-- then life with the family.
now keep in mind that week in, week out, I often left the house at 530 and was back by 8. for the first 5 years of their life this meant that only weekends that I was available often was when I could be with them-- but I was on call every 3rd weekend or so... the time I could spend with them I did. I didn't do anything else. so before I am too much crucifed for not being a good dad I think its important to know that the time constraints of the profession made it very difficult.
could I have done better-- yes
the way my wife sees it now-- you are probably right
