Legally you cannot ask your W to leave if she is part owner of the home. I mean you can ask her but if she says no you will have no legal recourse.

What you CAN do is pack her up and send her to the guest room.

I agree, you are afraid of your W. Honestly, it would have been very helpful to know your ages and how short your marriage has been. For a long time I thought the two of you were much older and married for 10 years. Your W is only 25 today and really has been dating you since she has been a child.

Your W has lots of growing up to do in so many ways and the only way that might happen is for her to have to fend for herself. It sounds like her dad will pick up the slack but nothing you can do about that.

You were very mean to her before because you were afraid to lose her. You are now smothering her and trying to get her to see things "your way" so you don't lose her. Haven't you already kind of lost her? With that mindset you really have nothing left to lose.

You can't waffle though. You can't have a scene like you did then ask her 24 hours later to go see a movie.

I really think you could benefit greatly from C'ing. If you work for the law (officer?) it seems you would have something available to you. If you can afford DB Coaching sessions it seems you could use those funds for a C if you need to.

I would put your W up in the guest room and let her know you have decided this isn't working for you anymore. Detach, get your own life and proceed forward. Sit her down and let her know it is time to come up with some plans as far as what you will both need to contribute to manage the household/money until things are finalized. As per her patterns she will pitch a fit. Let her go move in with daddy or let her sulk and bitch at home. Either way don't let it get a rise out of you.

Once you start C'ing and your W prods about it I would simply tell her that you are in the middle of making some major life transitions and you are choosing to learn from your past mistakes to build the best future you can for yourself.

Your W is a "fighter" and I don't say that in a good way. She will do all she can do to suck you back in to her drama and childish ways.