I like the advice in the book of being soft with the person but hit hard the issue.
Your wife spent the night with another man alone and that's how hard you hit the issue? Can you really expect your wife to be attracted to you when you let her behave like this? She's emotionally bonding with this guy again. Your wife doesn't need a friend she needs a husband, husbands don't let their wives sleep over at other mens homes.
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We'll see if I can minimize her desire to rescue him or whatever she's being pulled into.
She told you she wants to go rescue him. He is emotionally blackmailing your wife to get his needs met and you are a bystander.
A real boundary would have been, "I understand he is hurting and you want to help. I won't share my wife with another man, especially to spend the night. His problems are his problems it is not appropriate for you to get involved."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
