Sleeper the minute you think I am being TOO harsh with you let me know and I'll stop, but do yourself the favor of addressing why it bothered you.
I'm going to pick this apart:
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My taking a harder stance would have had no impact on X's actions, of course, but I probably would have second guessed myself to death over the possibility that taking a softer stance might have had some effect on the outcome. Financially I MIGHT have come out better, might not have and at what cost in terms of legal fees and ill will between us?
You are coming from a place where deep down I feel that you still think you can get your wife back through your actions, you almost count on it.
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My taking a harder stance would have had no impact on X's actions, of course, why bring it up to me then? but I probably would have second guessed myself to death over the possibility that taking a softer stance might have had some effect on the outcome. much like you are wondering right now
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About 6 months ago she asked me why X got the better car (she totaled it), the house and the business. I was speechless for a moment at the observation she had independently made and I don't remember exactly how I responded.
THAT is an awesome question...WHY did you, deep down honest answer Sleeper. Why did you? If you can fool yourself you can fool anyone if you can lie to yourself then you can lie to anyone and if you start believing those lies, then you are a fool.
I am NOT saying that you are lying or that you are a fool, I am asking you to be painfully honest with yourself and examine your motives and expectations very carefully.
The answers you give the kids are cool and good, yes someone must be the bigger person...lets actually hope it is both of you not just one of you.
Setting boundaries is'nt a ploy or a trick or a trap, it is NOT vindictive, they are for you and your well being, your MENTAL health.
For no reason beyond what is best for Sleeper, and I think you have been giving in so much because deep down you think she might wake up and see how awesome you are because you give and give and give.
I think you forgot or believed that having your x wife in your life...no matter the cost WAS what you imagined was the best for Sleeper.
I think you are just begining to see that....that might not be true.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
