First off... ah screw it lets itemize them in a table as usual...
1. It's NOT over.. he's going to call her, again, and again, and again.. he's very likley giong to sleep with her again, and again, and again 2. YOU got played.. he is NOT ready to come back.. that was a trick he just played on you... he wants to go back to cake eating like before and you told him OK 3. He is addicted, it NEVER ends this easily... guaranteed you have a battle on your hands 4. He just used the in person meeting to get his attachment fix again.. he WILL go back... I have NO DOUBT about that...
He ALSO has to DROP that IC of his and get one that is NOT affiliated with OW or OWM... one who hopefully works WITH your FT to get you two working together again...
If you want my advice
1. Tell him he is NOT welcome in the new house for at LEAST three months 2. He has o go to FT for thsoe three months - your FT will decide if it should be you two together or just private sessions, but that's it... He doens't see you for three months, he sees the FT 3. He agrees to FULL TRANSPARENCY of all info.. phone, computer, etc... He hides NOTHING and if you want to SEE anything he HAPPILY surrenders it because you are protecting the BOTH of you 4. A letter is written and signed by the BOTH of you to OW to GET LOST and NEVER attempt to contact your H again EVER 5. Phone numbers, email addresses, facebook accounts etc are all CLOSED and new ones are generated (I know there's a cost, but such is the price he has to pay)
For THREE MONTHS he goes to FT and lives with his mother still under protection phase until the FT agrees he's ready to make a commitment again
YOu don't decide when he's ready, but I say he should work with FT for AT LEAST three months and a NEW IC... for THREE MONTHS
