The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Journaling:
Had a very nice conversation with a lady friend last night. She is going through some tough times while she tries to figure out what to do next. Her husband is an addict. She loves him deeply but doesn't trust him. Trust is very important to her.

I was glad for the chance to help and encourage her to work it out and get him help. They love each other very much but there is also a lot of anger. I can relate to some of it because of my past experiences, but then some of it I cannot. I hope I was able to help as I've been helped.

Nothing else really to report. I feel a little bit of a funk coming on. No good reason but I'm guessing things are just catching up to me a little. That's ok. I need to face these things and clear the decks for my own sanity.

Wife is working to move out by the end of the month. That should help and yet cause issues at the same time. The house isn't likely to sell any time soon in this market, but I won't worry about that. It will happen when it's time and not before. I know that.

I was reflecting earlier today and that may be why I am in a funk. I was thinking that I have learned a great deal. I'm on more solid ground now but still not quite fully myself. But I've learned that patience is the right answer no matter what. I learned that I really did love her that deeply. I know that I do not any longer, although I still care. My feelings are still changing, but much more slowly than before. Things are slowing down in that way. I care that she is ok, but I don't feel like I have to watch her or take care of her any longer. I don't feel possessive although it would probably hurt the first time I saw her with somebody else. Not sure what else there is to do to move on, but I'm actively looking inwards at myself to see what else needs to change. That's the reflectiveness.

Still, life is good. I'm really enjoying things I do and my kids although I am not spending enough time with them. I'm working that part out.

AJ