have had some serious conversations with H - I am seeing things much more balanced now and the truth is that if he ultimately can't see his part in our dynamic or doesn't want to make any changes then I think this won't work for me. So far I have had some glimmers of hope but then am disappointed again. I'm just hanging on until I go to my Stosny bootcamp in a few weeks and then we'll see where my head is at.
Serious conversations? I read somewhere on here "you can't talk yourself out of something you acted your way into" ... it's so true. Talk is cheap ...
Fud - you are still making this about HIM. If HE can't see, if HE won't change ... you are thinking about things you can't control, why? The bootcamp is a fantastic idea, but there are other opportunities to turn this inwards. What are you doing differently? What changes are you making for YOU? Who are YOU right now? Who do you WANT to be? What are you doing to make that happen?
As a wise man once posted to me "this process will change you, if you let it". Let it Fud ... let it change the parts of YOU that you want to change. This isn't about HIM anymore. Do this work for you, not to save your M but to save yourself and come through this at your full potential.
You are not a victim unless you choose to be.
And by the way, what happened to unconditional love? ... here's a hint: it doesn't involve the word IF. Stop having expectations of anyone other than yourself. Disappointment is your fault, not his.
Now, what are you going to do today FOR YOU?
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
