I think it's time to lawyer up, Mel. It's reasonable to expect him to do something(s) drastic when he gets exposed at work, and/or as he reacts to these new arrangements. You should be better- and more-thoroughly-counseled at that point.
You are under no obligations to do his financial planning for him. Share with him only what serves YOUR (or your daughter's) purposes to do so. Everything else should go thru attorneys.
