In six years and well over 15,000 posts here, I have noticed another similar -- but related -- dynamic to all of this.
POSTERS who are uncomfortable with the thougher methods often slowly gravitate toward the MLC forum, from the Newcomers and the Infidelity forum. Oh, sometimes they'll try the affair-busting/tougher-love approach without success (and of course, NO one can guarantee success, as the wayward spouse has a lot to do with it!), and so one can't fault them for wanting to try something different. That's not who I'm talking about.
I'm talking about DOZENS of people who NEVER DO try the more confrontational, firmer approaches advocated in Newcomers and Infidelity, get tired of being reminded that they're being doormattish, and then -- ((poof!)) -- you'll find them over on the MLC forum, where the advice feels more COMFORTABLE to them.
I'm not sure where I stand on the whole "is MLC real" thing. It's probably a lot like ADHD in kids: real, but WAY over-diagnosed.
I've only seen one of two methods ever work with a wayward and/or cheating spouse: either Allen A's consistent, boundary-laying, affair-exposing, throw-everything-you-got-at-'em approach . . . or, Robx's/Gucci's "You know what, I agree, maybe this is best as I'm tired of your crap behavior anyway/time to move on" approach. Or perhaps some combination of the two.
