Live in the Now!!

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Bobbi, sorry to hear about the latest shenanigans.

I know you know that you have a choice. DBing 101 - you cant control others, but you can control how YOU react. You chose to get mad/emotional/engage in an argument, so he threw angry words back.

Perhaps you could have said,
"Thanks for your thoughts, but its understandable the kids would act up on exchanges between us, as I am sure divorce is a little confusing for them, but it will settle down. If not, I am happy to do some family mediation/counselling to resolve any behavioural issues if its needed. OK, I have to go now."

Or.. something equally unemotional. Boundaries. Detach. I think K had some good ideas about detachment.

I guess all this reacting, getting upset, having excuses to see him, like the nebuliser (instead of just buying a 2nd one, one for your house, one for his) ignoring some texts making him wait for your response and then answering some with open questions getting him to TELL YOU WHATS UP.. its all part of the same thing - it maintains an emotional R with him, however tenuous. Its getting an emotional reaction out of him, even if its anger/pouty etc, it maintains that connection between you, because you still havent let go. And so therefore.. he knows that and can sense it. Which is why he keeps doing it.

I say this as an outsider to try and help you get perspective on these exchanges between you that make you mad/upset/let down again and again. Seeing as you are about to start IC. I wonder if you agree?

Its up to you Bobbi, but we've all said it over and over again to you the past 1, 2 years. If you detach and drop the rope, you may be surprised how things change and how better you feel. I see you are trying, but things havent really changed much. I know though hun, its SO hard hey.

Al xxx