You know, I'm starting to believe that all bets are off when a S is having a MLC. (Gee, ya think?)

I knew when I married my H that he was a work driven person. That's who he is. He was a hard working man who loved his family, but viewed his true role as provider.

There was a time in our M when I whined and complained that we didn't get enough time together. I missed him and I basically was raising the kids by myself. I'm not saying he didn't spend anytime with us, I just wanted more.

I came to accept that I was not going to change my H and I stopped trying. I didn't whine, nag, or be otch at him any longer. I changed my way of thinking, accepted and was grateful for the life H gave us.

I tried to the best of my ability to show him my love and took care of all things I possibly could around the house and with the kids to take that pressure off. When he was home he could do as he wished.

During this time I also GAL. I did my own thing and worked it around the times he was home.

My point is, I knew going in what type of man my H was. I accepted him for who he was. I made my peace with it and went on to have what I considered a happy marriage for the most part. My H let me know in many ways he appreciated me, too.

2 years before H walked, he shut us all out. He wanted space and time and we gave it to him. When he walked one of the reasons he gave was that he was lonely. I guess giving him what he wanted wasn't what he wanted.

Anyway, Bradley's wife going in must have known what kind of man he was. She worked to support them while he pursued his education. She had and raised the children while he worked toward his goal in a very demanding career. Did she not realize what it was going to take to become a heart surgeon and then practice it? Obviously, she must have.

MLC hits and she decides she's not going to accept Brad as he is. He sets about trying to change that to the extent that he can without losing himself along the way. He's willing to give up his career to be closer to her and the boys and again that's not good enough. What is it going to take to make this right for her? Answer: Nothing, while she is going through this. This is something he can't fix for her. She has to face the issues for herself. What purpose would it serve to throw the career that you both fought for away to have her change her mind as to what she wants again?

Brad, all I can say for your sake is to let it go. You've done what you could. Do not let what your W has done consume you and make you bitter towards her. Do what you have to for your boys and to be the best father you can be. Do it with love and compassion and accept your W for who she is now because she isn't the woman you M and probably won't be for a long time, if ever.

Do not ever forget the sacrifices she made to contribute to your dreams. That's what I try to remember when I think of my H. It helps keep me out of Bittersville.