file for D? Or is there something else i can do?

[Jstar]

I sent some documents to h. we do not seem to be able to ever talk in a room without it getting to an arguement.

i put together nothing with pleading or begging. in short i stated i wanted my marriage but can not have kids and me living in limbo with not moving forward. i said by the time i return to work i will either be well on the way to getting a divorce or h and i committed to each other and kids to work out our marriage via counseling etc. etc. (probably sounds like an ultimatum or crunch against time)

we have childcare issues that are unresolved, i have his truck my car sits at his house broke down for past 2 months, him hiding money, not involved in kids lives sees them 3-6 times a month for minutes at a time, needing to get them healthcare.


i stated i did not want to take a hard line on his behaviors, stated boundaries and consequences. in short: if he does not sit down and talk about our outstanding issues, parenting plan, continues to be a dead beat absent ghost father(drive by daddy) i will continue to document is lack of involvement in kids lives, consult an attorney, petition the court to have his rights severed and have him pay my attorney fees.

i also included high lights from the courts parenting plan, everything that i have said to him for years about children, visitation, their best interest,. he tends to think i'm full of crap and just say these things to keep the kids away from him.

no where did i state filing for divorce or custody but i mean business,. he can either step up be a father involved regularily consistently in the kids lives, continue to live at his mother's tiny apartment with 4 other people who hoarders.

i don't know why i think this will be different, i think he's banking on me never filing for divorce. i guess for me i should set a deadline. take it as one week at a time. if he is making progress - we are making progress. if there is nothing in 3-4 weeks follow thru with the consequences.

since then i have gone verbally dark, text dark, vm dark, only commo has been one sided my letter and him today wanting to know where i was at to come get something he needed out of the truck.

i've been on here for some time now, seperated 9 months, i don't have any faith, and then go back on, well if he didn't want to be married why wouldn't he file for divorce, visitation etc.? what is he waiting for? can he possibley think we would remain legally married, seperated for years?

anyone been in limbo for more then a year, no progress, no counseling, go through times of talking?

as i type this and think, what the hell am i doing? isn't this a lost cause? shouldn't i just file and let it go, damn my beliefs? 3rd marriage for me, now what? i don't have money like Liz Taylor.