The bad thing is that I still can't face mediation.
I was supposed to call the mediation facilitator today (WTF? Soooo bureaucratic!) and I didn't. I'll call her Tuesday because she doesn't work Thursdays or Fridays. Luckily I confirmed yesterday that she will be in the office next Tuesday, 7/6.
Journaling: Yesterday I told Erica about my impending divorce and today I told Lois. They both made it into less of a big deal than it seems to me, which was good. I mean, I don't want this to be of other people's concern!
But I did make some significant concessions that I'd like your opinions on and that I also have to sleep on.
I trash-talked Mr. A a little, especially tonight. It was the easy way out but I don't want to keep doing it. You've all heard it before: "You'll find someone better. Why would you want to stay with him anyway?"
When I've heard this from friends in my innermost circle, this is what I say: "Look, deal with it. I love him and I want to. Don't push me on this."
They've pretty much obliged so far.
But now I'm venturing into the second ring of the circle and I don't feel like I can say it that way anymore. So they pose me the same questions, and I'm like, "Yeah, you make a good point."
Or like, "Yep, you're right. I need to just move on."
So where am I? Feeling good that I have supportive friends, even in my second circle. Also feeling bad that those friends have a negative opinion of Mr. A and I haven't spoken up in the other direction.
