Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

She dropped an F bomb or two too but once I became quiet she was all cheerful and stuff trying to joke around which I didn't even smile at. Like when she pointed at her Dr. Scholl's slip-in shoe thingies saying "can I take these? unless you want them..." and a few things like that.

Ugh, why do I have to wear my emotions on my sleeves, I've always been like this. I can't fake stuff.

Anyway, she took a bunch of stuff that I was OK with, books, documents, pics, small kitchen stuff. I agreed to mostly everything she wanted but not readily at first...she said 'I guess everything will have to go through the F'n courts since we can't agree on anything'. I told her 'well you take me to court and then the cleaners when it suits you'...she just rolled her eyes.

It was kinda sad when she left though, by that time we'd both calmed down and she said bye and I almost felt choked up saying bye back to her. I guess it was a realization that the house looks a bit emptier, there she goes off into her new life and here I am left alone to pick up my own pieces.

Just not a good day...probably worst yet because I wish I'd been more 'matter of fact' and not showed my emotions. God, how stupid I am.