Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

As for me, I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief. It still feels so untrue, like it's not going to happen. This place is the only place I can go and admit to how I'm truly feeling. No one in real life understands what I'm going through, none of them understand why I want to save my marriage. They tell me "You're better off without him." I don't agree. It's only here that I feel my despair, my fears of the future are understood.

Logically I know that I'll get through this but in the darkness of depression I don't believe it. I see a future of being alone, loving H and hurting while he goes on with his life.