In april wife decided she wanted a divorce, wasn't happy and wanted to leave in November when our lease was up. I listened and agreed with most of her complaints. Bought DR read it and immediately started the 180"s that I really needed to address in my life. Ironically we were in the process of trying to have a kid before this hit and I was really questioning a lot of my previous actions and attitude before the bomb, Due to me starting to realize I didnt want my future kid to act how I was currently acting.
My 180's were highly noticed and appreciated by her, But every time we would really have fun and enjoy each others company she'd clam up find something to be upset about and it would start the new argument of "Its to late" and she had her mind made up. My 180's were complete opposites of how I had been literally, which I did for me. I started talking about my day, life. I cooked for her again, talked her into working out and started treating her how I wanted to be treated(asking if she needed a blanket if she needed a drink etc.(she always wanted this and I finally gave it to her)). Before I was if you want it or think you might ask me I'll get it but she wanted me to always ask.
At this time I started to GAL I was going out anywhere just to kill time get away from the house and t.v., comp., I was attempting to include her when she wanted to go but mainly I did it for my well being.
Sadly the 180s I were working on were doing their job and really good I might add. However the things I wasn't working on, were driving her insane and making all my progress go straight down the drain(because at the time I didn't realize those issues).
The Friday before fathers day she left to go to her mothers again for the weekend. Due to a highly avoidable argument where she didn't ask a question and where I just didn't tell her what I was doing(she was testing me I was testing her we both failed. When she came back Sunday night I tell you She seemed so changed so happy to be their and just back to her old self. She started talking about what I wanted while she was their what was I trying to do etc. Conversation was going good we were talking about what things we didnt like with each other ways to improve them where we went wrong etc. Then I noticed, man I had to notice, she wasn't wearing her ring. Well I got floored, But before she could tell, I asked her what happened to it and why. The answer was "You dont want me to fake anything and be open" so I took it off. Well a few minutes after hearing this I told her if you dont want to be with me or around me the pack your [censored] and leave. I got the well I dont have any where to go. At this point were yelling but I drove my point to her, if you cant wear it to honor our commitment of trust, loyalty, friendship even if you dont love me leave, which she did. She had planned on moving into her mothers in November and commute to work from their, happens to be a 90m drive.
Now we've talked since then and quite friendly as well I have wrote her a letter explaining why I had asked her to leave and that I couldn't deal with her not wearing it and even if she did she'd feel like I was trying to control her which I dont want her to feel. But she's also the type of person who if you dont talk to, she thinks your mad at her . I want to somehow save my marriage but at this point I'm so lost as what I really should be doing to help get my marriage/friendship back on track. I know that their really is no PA no matter how much I've tried to think otherwise she's not that type of person and yes I had access to everything at one point and even now if I wanted(obviously she might have changed a few passwords but unlikely) and the only EA is with her mom and an ex co-worker who is female and 60+. So time isn't an issue nor is another man. I just dont know if going dark would be viable. Countinue the friendly talks about our days and cats, bills etc.
Any input, advice, questions would be greatly appreciated
