i know i sound like a defeatist, but i really don't know why i'm even discussing these issues anymore. i really think it's the fact that i cannot win in this situation, and that i can't say that i have lost. something always brings me back to "want" her.
there's something about her that makes me desire her, and i know i'm wrong for fighting this losing battle.

it's been going on for at least 10 yrs.