I don't recognise a lot of the names here and that means that there are a of hurting new people.
I have been MIA, thinking things through and evaluating events at the Double K Ranch. There has been a significant improvement in the relationship between Mr Kara and I. But alas, I don't see the necessary dedication and interest on his part to rebuilding this M.
So, I HAVE DECIDED that I will be putting it all in the rear view mirror and heading in the opposite direction. And I have reached my cutoff point this time.
Mr. Kara has changed within the last six months but not enough. I was operating in the context of OW and that is always a difficult thing to do. However, I relied on God and am satisfied that is how I was meant to do it. I have no regrets there.
Through much prayer and the passage of time, I have relegated OW to her rightful position in my life. PERSONA NON GRATA. I wish her and Mr. Kara the very best. I almost feel sorry for her. Evil Grin. She has no idea of his deep seated issues. However, it is possible that they are well suited to each other and will live happily ever after. Whatever. Not my problem.
I really have no problems today. My future is in God's hands and he knows the plans he has for me. I know it is something great. I am pursuing a postgraduate degree and I am excelling at work. I am at my healthiest and most attractive right now.
God is good. The serprent may have bitten me but I am not dead. No, I am not dead at all.
I could never wrap my head around how you could have been married to someone, take the most sacred of vows and years later the person is out of your life. Perhaps you bump into them at the supermarket and say to someone "We used to be married". I never wanted that violent severing of what was such a fundamental joining of two people in God's most precious union. Couldn't comprehend it.
BUT, I don't perform miracles and my name is not Jesus.
And so, I put all this drama in my rear view mirror. Mr.K. OW. I put my shades on. Turn up some music. And I drive in the opposite direction. And they get smaller and smaller. And smaller. And I can't see them anymore.
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
This is exactly what I needed to read and just maybe where my sitch ends up in the near future. And, like you, I am feeling more confident and attractive than ever. I know I will have an amazing life. There is no doubt you will, my friend!
Darn, this place is getting chock full of attractive, kick-ass women wearing shades and the most amazing shoes. Ughs, and I'm still married .
Kidding aside, it's good to see the immense personal growth and empowerment in you Kara, and you, RW.
I, too have been too close to that particular dynamic of walking away from what was supposed to be sacred, to not understand what you must be feeling. But the subjugation of the fear, the apprehension, and just knowing you can only do your level best and accept what God puts in your life, is liberating.
Don't just drive away; I hope you'll make frequent pitstops here.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I just wanted to say that it sounds like you are going to fine!
I admit that I had followed for you AND RW AND LR sitches with great expectations in the beginning and just knew if anyone could bust it you guys could!
After my H filed D papers, I kinda lost a little hope but that was back in Feb. I have grown and am working on changing (I have always been a slow learner ) I am to the point now where I truly believe that no matter which direction my life heads...that I will be ok and reading what you posted has helped me realize that yes, it can be done!
You will be fine! I agree with Deep, please come back and keep us updated on you!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Kara, I am so glad for you that you can move forward with optimism and no regrets. That should be our definition of "success" here on the forum. Thanks for making me smile
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Thanks, Barkley, Ready, RW, CW, Deep, FW. Did I get everyone?
Well, I may have pulled a Gucci. I had the conversation with Mr. Kara re moving on and I laid out for him a plan for property division etc. It was the first time I laid it out in concrete terms and I don't think he had thought things through to that point. The reality seemed to startle him and the text messages started soon afterwards.
I told him I was going away for the long weekend and he wanted to know how details. NONE. He has also gone away and has emailed me to say hello. NO RESPONSE. Nothing left to say right now.
This is how it is when you don't want to work on your marriage. You don't get to keep all the property, you don't get to maintain the status quo, you don't get to keep Kara in your pocket.
I have not been here long, so havent' followed you from the begining, but you seem like an amazing and stong woman. It gives me hope. Good luck to you in your future..you have a fantastic outlook! I keep telling myself..you know that song by Garth Brooks..Unanswered Prayers?
Well, I have been praying and praying for my husband to stop cheating and want to be wtih me, wtih our family, but it hasn't happened. Maybe there is a reason why, that I just can't see yet.
______________________ Me:36 H:38 Married:1994 Kids: 13 yr. old & 10 yr. old Discovered affair: 1/10 H still denies
Me:36 H:38 Together: 20 years Married: 16 years Kids: 13 & 10 yr. old Discovered affair: 1/10 H denies affair. Refuses to save marraige. Divorce filed: December 2010
