Told W last night that I wasn't interested in waiting for her to get a better job and helping her get on her feet just so she could leave at a better time for her. I said I had been doing a lot of thinking and agreed that we need to split up and since she refused to leave, I am seeking legal advice and will be initiating things myself. I also said that I understood that she didn't know if she wanted to work on things or not. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I understand."
I told her I would let her know what the L says and we need to decide a time to tell the kids and that I wouldn't be telling them 'mommy and daddy just don't get along anymore or love each other'. I would tell them that she is leaving dad, she doesn't want to stay and she is the one who has decided there is something more important to her than her family.
I then said I had plans for a few hours and would be home later. She asked where I was going and I just said out with friends. I kissed the kids good-night and left. She had to work early this morning so I have not seen her since.
God, I can't wait for what happens next. Anything is better than waiting and not knowing. She threatens things and then backs off. Then I let things slide for a while and it goes right back to the way it was. She really does know how to play me.
I still worry about the kids. The decision to break apart the family is hers and hers alone. All I can do is make it as easy on them as possible. It will not be easy by any means.
Hopefully I handled it right. Or at least close. I'm really tired of f*@#*#g up all the time.
