in the months that I couldn't sleep I would take my laptop to bed and watch tv stuff or movies on netflix. I suppose if you had a tv in your room you wouldn't have to do that...
I never tried ambien but probably should have.
have you tried Melatonin? I'm not sure if it is voodoo but I think it works pretty well and you can get it over the counter.
and I think if you exercised and worked out it can help get you tired as well.
You have officially been enrolled in the bonehead club.
Melatonin, is a chemical that the body produces when it is in the sun and it helps to regulate our sleep patterns. Because we live in an artificial world, some people do not make enough of it and thus, the supplement. Yes it works.
Voodoo? Are you sure you are a doctor?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Good morning world - yea for me - I slept 6 hours straight!!
Beautiful day greeted me through my hotel window - woke up to new reality. Been reading Gary Chapman's Desperate Marriages. I know, I know, - I need to be reading self development but there really are some great personal principles in this book:
Reality Living: 1. I am responsible for my own attitude. 2. My attitude affects my actions. 3. I cannot change others, but I can influence others. 4. My emotions do NOT control my actions. 5. Admitting my imperfections does NOT mean that I am a failure. 6. Love is the most powerful weapon for good in the world.
I think these are a good place for me to begin. My mind gets jumbled often times because I have given H so much power - he's the smart one, he's the good one, he's the disciplined one, he has high standards, etc. And as I have spun my wheels to "be worthy" - lost much of myself. Trying to make him happy and proud - when in actuality, in many ways, I've made myself happy and proud which has in turn, created an unhealthy environment for the M. I have been trying to "control" everyone else. "If this makes me happy it must make you happy too" - right???? WRONG!!!!
Two weeks before the ILYBINILWY - I received this card (completely unsolicited) - My dearest W - I know that we have been through some pretty tough times but I want you to know that even thought I have done some terrible things to you that I do love you and want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life! I hope someday that you will be able to forgive me and that we will be able to move on to an even more fantastic life than either one of us has ever had. Until then I will love you and show you that I love you so that you will begin to realize the new found commitment that I have to you and hope you can find it in your heart to continue to love me in return. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world and intend to show you that love for the rest of our lives! I love you! - H
Why am I putting this out there? Because 2 months ago, this was who my H was becoming and I need to know if I am foolish to believe that the person who wrote this is still in there somewhere? 2 weeks later he was "done" and gave up IC, church, - became this new H - self centered, unfeeling, cruel.
I am afraid to trust myself and believe that the person who wrote this is still there and worth "standing" for - since all of his actions and words since have been in direct contradiction of this. I am not afraid to look foolish to anyone for "standing" / it's who I am and what I believe.
I guess I need to keep reminding myself that at the end of this - no matter the outcome - I need to be OK with how I responded or handled the situation.
Just thinking aloud:)
PS - do the tears ever stop?
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Irish, Last January, my husband and I scheduled two vacations. One in March, and the other in December. Needless to say, we cancelled both. The person that I planned these with in January was, for the most part, the husband I loved. Six weeks later he slept with bimbo on a business trip, and I was a dog turd.
If I understand DB'g correctly, we have to believe that the person we love is in there somewhere, and we're waiting them out, kind of like hunting wabbits, as Elmer Fudd says. As maddening and frustrating as it seems, there are no hard answers to WHEN. Maybe you'll still be waiting, maybe you'll have moved on to another spot. I now truly believe that when the time comes YOU'LL KNOW.
I feel myself that I am inching towards acceptance of the situation and exasperated with the limbo more and more. WTF, I'm alone anyway, I might as well be alone and truly single. BUT, I'll sleep on that for a day or two. My moods change rapidly.
Love notes from my WH? I had a box full he sent from his deployment in Iraq, along with cards he'd given me. I burned them and sent him the ashes in an envelope. Not totally burned, mind you, I wanted him to be able to see what they had been.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
I need to know if I am foolish to believe that the person who wrote this is still in there somewhere?
I got similar stuff from my W.
For me? This is my HOPE. This IS who they want to be.
IMO you do not disserve you or them by believing there is more there then they are currently showing you.
For there is much more...
Just not right now.
Originally Posted By: Irish
I am afraid to trust myself and believe that the person who wrote this is still there and worth "standing" for - since all of his actions and words since have been in direct contradiction of this. I am not afraid to look foolish to anyone for "standing" / it's who I am and what I believe.
Do you see your own contradiction?
If you are standing for you than H's worth?
Nothing to do with it.
If we look at what they do now and place value on that... In some way translate it to worth...
Heck these boards would be empty.
Irish you will find your path through this.
Read other's threads. ('cept PEI she is a mad typist
You are at the beginning stages of the LBS and all your questions are good ones.
Ultimately, even as much as we tell you, YOU will have to experience it to know it.
So keep stepping every day for you.
BTW The stuff at the beginning up there ^^^^^ is good.
Good for YOU.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Hey now bonehead!!! There's a lot of growth in them there threads
But alas Irish, they are long winded ... I find the writing and sharing cathartic. Start at the beginning of my MLC thread (I actually do an E.P.I.C. recap - right Jack?) and follow the loopy, rollercoaster ride ...
And for the record, I buy into Grit's philosophy on the LBS process and how one has to start by Standing for their spouse or their marriage and it's only through the process that one can grow and learn and heal to a point where they are truly Standing for themselves.
It's hard Irish ... but it's worth it ... you're worth it ...
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Question... Is DB primarily for those who are still in a marriage - living together? And if you are separated the DB techniques are really for you as the LBS? They may possibly have an effect but probably not as well as if you are living together still in the marriage... May be a stupid question - but just wondering...
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
