I always feel like Alice through the looking glass ;-)
Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
Thx FM! Yea, I"m having a real shift and it scares the cr*p out of me. I actually went to a family law attorney who specializes in domestic violence = and she is ready to get up in the morning and fight for me. I'm not ready to move yet but I'm thinking set up my arsenal...after all isn't that what H did the whole time he was lying to me about reconciliation? SAdly, I think I may have no other choice but to fight. I'm so tired of the intimidation, the threats, the humiliation, the fear and anxiety.
You know what? I went to both my therapist and the new attorney today and I didn't need any anti anxiety pills! I felt a mental lift I haven't felt in a long time just knowing I have legal rights to protect myself from the abuse. It's taken me a year to even get that it is abuse, it still feels weird to say it, but now is time to be like David to Goliath - send that well aimed pebble right between the eyes and slay that giant that has had me shaking in my boots for over a year.
Some pep talk, eh? Now if I can muster the courage to stick to the plan...
for now, I plan to go dark or dim, line up my info, my intel, document as much as I can remember, and muster my nerve.
WOW, I am so proud of you for taking these steps! Hooray! I think this is all good in terms of gathering info, marshalling your reserves and lining up your "army". It will help you feel empowered (which you haven't been for so long) and more in charge of your own destiny. All this waiting around for them to act gets old, doesn't it? Nothing to say you can't move things forward, or just get ready like you are. I am really really glad you've consulted with someone you like and are feeling good about it. I think, personally, that you've taken enough crap and deserve a peaceful, anxiety-free (or at least greatly lessened) life with S.
Keep us posted---
((((Hope))))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
