Said few words to W yesterday morning in the kitchen. She went back upstairs to continue getting ready for work with bathroom door shut. D was still asleep in bed when I left for work, so I only got to say goodbye to S. Didn't say anyting to W as the door was closed.
Didn't hear anything from W or anyone all day. W worked a full day yesterday and today too.
Texted D's phone that I had softball and wouldn't see her until tomorrow, be good for Mom, etc.....
Went to softball game after work and called D & S after to talk to them a bit. Didn't speak to W, just the kids.
Went out with the team after the game and had a couple beers - even though I am not supposed to. I did know that I wouldn't be seeing W since she would be in bed when I got home, so I thought it would be ok. No problems.
Got ready this am and W was in kitchen when I came down. She asked me a few questions about the game. My answers were: good, no and no. Did my morning chores and said bye to D when I left for work. Everyone else upstairs with doors closed. Had to go back in for something and S was out so I said bye to him and see ya to W who was now in kitchen.
Easy not to talk when you aren't home.
Going to see kids counselor today to talk about how/what to tell the kids. I suppose we will tell them in the next few days. I know W has been wanting to tell them. I am REALLY dreading that conversation.
EXCELLENT!
Just make sure your answers aren't SO short ("Good," "No" and "No"), and their tone isn't such, that you're coming across as being RUDE or SNARKY. What you're shooting for is BUSY -- engaging, polite, but wouldlovetochatbuthey,lookatthetimegottarunBYE!
I am in a better mindset. Have been sleeping the past couple of nights, so that helps. Just read all of any chance's thread and I see parallels, so that makes me cautiously optimistic.
Responded to W, "confirmed" and then told her I plan to take the kids to the company picnic on 7/17. She said she "was thinking about doing something with the kids that weekend, but since she didn't have firm plans, if I had firm plans she would probably just stay home that week-end instead." My plans are FIRM!
Now to stay the course and hope for a positive outcome.....eventually! Patience, patience, patience.
I feel a bit more like I know what I am doing now.
Thanks all you guys and gall for all the wisdom and support! It has been a great help.
Gotta go to the kids counselor now. Talk to you soon.
Don't have much time this am, but will give you guys an update on the meeting with the counselor later. It went pretty well, but I did miss at least 1 GOLDEN opportunity that I thought about later.
Anyway, 2 quick questions.
1) I slept in this morning and W left for work before me and took the trash to the curb. She has done it before , but I usually do it. I was thinking aobut a quick thank-you to her, but should I just let it lie? I'm thiking not saying anything is tha right approach.
2) What about my sister and W? Should I let my sister befriend her or is that kind of like cake eating for the W?
Thanks. Will post later when I have a bit more time.
1 - No. Let her get the taste of life without you she says so yearns for.
2 - What about it? Can you control what your W does? Can you control what your sister does? No. So why look like a control freak in trying to do so? Hell, use the situation to your advantage. When your sis asks you how you're doing, let her know you're doing GREAT. When she asks about the situation, simply say it's not worth discussing and then say you have to go do something, MUCH LIKE YOU WOULD TO YOUR W. This will in turn get back to your W via your sis who will also be questioning what you're up to, why you're so upbeat and busy.
Last, for the record, cake eating is when the WAS gets the bulk of what they want from OP and comes back to you for what they are not.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
