Just to add - for Allen's sake, lol - I did the whole dinner thing because it was his birthday - and because the kids wanted/expected to celebrate. I know I'm supposed to not be doing this stuff for him, so to speak. :-)
The kids are at the point where they think everything is fine: maybe not GREAT, but fine. They don't realize their dad is still thinking of leaving. Our families and friends don't know anything about this either for the most part. Well, I know H has talked to some people about it but I honestly don't even know who. My family knows nothing. H's family really has nothing to do with us so exposing would not even be effective. It's not anything bad. They are just self-absorbed and into their own lives. Our kids haven't gotten so much as a birthday card from them over the last 10 years. Both of our families are out of state for that matter. We have no close relatives or even friends we hang out with. (Sad - and probably part of our problem, I'm sure.)
