Quote:
I know you don't do this to be evil but really, every heated exchange the two of you have turns out this way. You have the power to change that. All sarcasm aside... do you just get caught up in the heat of the moment? Do you forget what you should be doing? Do you not understand what you should be doing? Perhaps if you can isolate why you keep going back to this same destructive pattern it will be helpful.


Yes, exactly. To be VERY honest, I do not go looking for R talks with my W and for a little over a month W had not a one then in the past week we had 4 already. I get caught up in how good I think things were going that I just fail to validate and then when I remember what I should had said stupid me goes back and bring up the R talk so I can say those things...how insane is that?

There are others times where I think back to other great advice I have received from forum members that is not along the lines as some of you suggest and I found it to be productive as well.

I also have/had a DB coach ( I still have one session remaining) and I was told by him to validate W feelings by saying "I just want you to be happy" and forum members jumped on this and said absolutely not so I have not called back since then.

On a side note W's birthday is tomorrow. W is in a terrible mood. This would be the first year since we met that W and I do nothing special for her birthday. W told me just today "I am halfway to AARP, it is just another day" never has she had such a terrible attitude about her birthday and to her, I am the one to blame.


M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10