" You did it the past 10 years." Or "Whatever happened for the past 10 years." I dont bring it up, but she almost always goes there. As for yesterday, she wore a new dress, which I complemented her on. She started talking, and before long, she went back to the 10 years hell.
Agree with her - validate her feelings about her being hurt. "I agree I see how I hurt you and for that I am sorry." The hurt for her is in the now.
Coach's statement above is absolutely true. People make mistakes. Some people learn from them, they change, and become better people.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
