Thanks Newmama - of course after I posted this last night I spent many more hours on the boards reading other situations and was wavering again. I wish I had this iron clad resolve to just pick a method and stick with it, and I'm a bit upset with myself for going back and forth so much. Where are my guts!??
Why would I expose at work? Embarassment factor, keep them apart, make sure that he didn't see work as a protective environment to cling to through everything. Also because I think he may be staying with a male coworker (who is in a leadership position at the firm and should not be condoning or covering up the A - I bet my H has just told him he has a crazy wife who kicked him out).
Why haven't I contacted BF? Allen suggested not to at one point; not sure it would matter at this point. I honestly doubt she was actually still dating Boyfriend from Jan on - think it was a cover story. So then I ask myself if it is kind to put him through drama over what is probably a finished relationship - feels selfish a bit. But then I don't know for sure, and the answer would certainly give me intel (because in May my H said "yes she came over while you were gone but her BF was with her"). If I expose at work I would call him because I think he deserves a heads up that this is going to circulate his work environment.
