Jack - thank you....I will never forget but I may forgive. I still remember the affair 20 years ago and the pain, but I forgave him for that and had years and years when I never even thought about it, it was buried deep inside me and I left it there...never thinking about it anymore....the old affair and the hurts only came to surface again when he started this one. So I know it's possible to forgive, but not to forget.
I don't know if it made me feel better to send the e-mail... but do I feel bad about sending it?....no I don't. If I didn't say anything he may think that everything is OK and everyone is OK with this...in his fantasy world....well we are not OK with it. D said yesterday in response to him taking OW there...and these are her words..."he is a retard". How sad is that...
The other thing is that he booked this "vacation" without checking with me, about my plans or how it fits with his D's trip. His 16 year-old is flying to Europe on her own for the first time (big deal at least for me) and he is not even going to be around to see her off at the airport...he has totally checked out as a father. Texting her few times a week and having her over for a 2-hour visit once in a while....that's not parenting.
Well enough about him. This is a part of an email a good friend of mine just sent to me....I like the 15min a day thing...H sure doesn't deserve any more then that...
Stay positive, you have to learn to let go and make some changes for ``you`` now. New job, new interests etc.,etc., take care to pamper and nourish yourself. Can`t turn back the clock and no one knows what is ahead. Take 15minutes a day to think about how crappy the situation is and then every time you start to think about it again, let it go, do not hold on to it, think positive, go for a walk, so some yoga etc.,etc. This is a meditation that was taught to us in yoga..it works. You allow yourself the negative stuff but not all day. Surround yourself with ``positive people`` not negative. Play some classical music. Breath big deep breaths.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
