Possible EA - Need Advice

[newmama]

P.S. You have not lost your H to OW yet. So I don't recommend this:

You know, if I really, truly let go . . . it could be a really good thing for me to just move on and start the healing process. Or, it could be effective in bringing him back of his own volition and not because I pursued. Either way is better for me, right? And I'm going to let him bear the guilt related to our daughter - I have done my best to be a wonderful mom for her and continue to do that. And at this point I think I might be able to do that best by letting my H go.

I CHOSE TO DO that too soon, IMO. I shouldn't have given him away to her so quickly. After he went to her, my only option was "well now he will need to come back on his own."

Does that make sense? I am at peace with this now because I had no way of knowing it was wrong to do what society and people who have never gone through an affair tell you to do. (i.e. kick your H out right away if he has doubts about quitting the A) I mean I couldn't have lived with him openly cheating, but I think I could have done more to try and bust the A before kicking him out.