Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

G, I'm struggling with how to deal with DD's b.day now (in a month) and in the future.

NM, you're not inept, this is all new to us and personally I don't have any other guidance than what I get from the good friends here. So we have to figure all this out as we move forward.

DD still talks about us and really wants us to be together, sometimes she cries, sometimes she asks, sometimes she tells me various things and what she wants to do or go place with 'you and mommy'...it's heart breaking really.

I'm just really conflicted about this. If we do this together and act like nothing's changed what message am I sending to DD? If I don't do this together then of course it's a big change for DD and I won't be present for stuff and I know she'll end up setting up a better b.day party for her than me. And of course, we can't invite the same people over twice. If I just do something simple just me and DD with a cake, balloons etc then she'll think I throw boring parties than mom...I don't know.

At the same time STBXW needs to realize there's no 'family' left. This is her make believe, cake eating tactic to ease her own guilty conscience.

Curious how some of the others that're further along have done this and what's their feedback.