Here is what I was thinking when we talk on the phone tonight:
"I thought alot about what you said last night, and I realized that you said more than you intended to. I know you are planning to visit him, and . . .
NOOO!!!!
This preface positions your convo with her as being the only source of your intel. You want it to be a concept of "You don't know what I know, and what i DON'T know, so you have to assume I know everything!", and so it's always best to start with:
"I know all about you and ____," or "I know all about where you're going," etc.
I also like to wait until AFTER they leave, and then go completely DARK on them, so that you cause the most DISRUPTION to their illicit plans. When you go to her AHEAD of time, with a speech like the above, all you're going to do is give her a chance to spin it and lie ahead of time, put it all back on you, and then -- if she's successful in that effort -- STILL head off on her weekend, and have an even BETTER time, because she "just put my husband in his place!"
