Scwred up and need advice

[CPCajun]

" You did it the past 10 years." Or "Whatever happened for the past 10 years." I dont bring it up, but she almost always goes there. As for yesterday, she wore a new dress, which I complemented her on. She started talking, and before long, she went back to the 10 years hell.

Agree with her - validate her feelings about her being hurt. "I agree I see how I hurt you and for that I am sorry." The hurt for her is in the now.

I tell you now, if I try to hang up and say I have to 'GAL', she will give me the excuse that I only want to talk when its conveinent for you. What else can I do to avoid this or respond to it differently?

That mind reading - call her out whenever she tires to tell you what you think/feel/believe. "No wife I don't only talk to you when it is convenient for me. If you want to know what I am thinking then just ask."

The flip side is she mind reads because she wants to know what you think. Let her in on your day. Story that helped me: Man has many rooms in his life - work, family, marriage, friends, hobbies, tasks. Your wife wants to know about all those rooms before she lets you in the bedroom. So when you see her talk about people at work, talk about your problems, let her know who you ran into at the store, let her know what is on your mind. Make sense?

Thanks Coach. I do validate her feeling, and I still do apologize.

I see the second part. I like both sides. I'll try both and see which one works.

I can handle this.