You are just about living my life though the OW and couple of girlfriends are long gone.
We have been separated for over three years. Have 9 year old daughter He lives in shared accom now but has lived in a few different spots. I have never been to his current residence despite repeated requests. He wants to spend time with us but it seems to be at his own discretion for the most part. I too feel the major cake-eating of him having his own space while I work full time, pay all the bills and mortgage, and look after our daughter just about 24/7. He doesn't take her for overnights anymore (he used to for a little while when he had a one bedroom flat - which incidentally was also when he had a girlfriend but not the one that initiated the separation) and if I want to go out, he comes over to the house and often (well, now it's often) stays over when I get home.
Why do I still bother with him? I don't know. I sort of love him but I don't think I want to live with him again. too much to fix. Am I being lazy? Maybe.
We are supposed to be starting couples counselling again next Monday if he books the appointment. He claims to want to get back together but doesn't seem to want to move back in. I have grown to like my space (when I can get it) and am terrified of things going back to the way they were. Maybe I should just call it quits? Maybe I'm being chicken. I don't know. anyway, I'm also in Australia (in the west) and I just wanted to reach out to someone who seems to be in a very similar situation.
Cheers
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
