Thank you TG, Punkin,SA, CW, Cat, PEI, Libby & Jack
TG - Thanks so much for your post on loving detachment...beautifully said and in a perfect world I wish that I was that far....but I'm not...I'm working through the anger stage...I understand that this is a perfectly normal stage of grief...and anger helps with detachment. As that stage passes, I guess I should expect acceptance and maybe then it's going to be easier to do the "loving detachment" part. As long as I don't get stuck in the anger stage...and I know that's not where I want to be...so I will get through it.
Most days I'm OK, not angry, maybe not exactly "loving", but nevertheless detached...but some days and it's usually reactive to his actions...the anger comes forward...like today when I found out that he is taking OW to our special place...the "city of love"....where we got married and lived the first year after we got married....yes that did upset me and I was angry and sad and disappointed and shocked...you name it I felt it.
But I will get through it, for me...I don't want to become a bitter or angry person because of his actions...I want to heal end be healthy and live a happy life regardless of how this ends.
But I have to give myself time to go through the stages....so I'm not beating myself up for getting angry once in a while....but I consciously try to work on forgiveness and "loving detachment"...I will get there.
Punkin - I don't want anything really bad to happen to them while they are there, but something small, but unpleasant would be satisfying
SA - Thank you my friend for your words of support (((hugs)))
CW - This is his sister's villa they are going to stay at...she is the therapist sister that he has been talking to the whole time...they are very close. It does upset me that they are welcoming them...feels like a betrayal...we were a family for over 30 years...spent time with them every time we went to Europe, she would send her kids to me for the summer....and now he is leaving his wife and D behind and bringing OW there...it hurts.
Cat - First I heard about it from OW's H...true. But H told D yesterday and also told her not to tell me that I would be upset (so he knows that this is hurting me) Today I emailed H informing him of my days away to visit my mother (we are business partners, he needs to know if I'm gone) and H emailed back saying that he also is going away and told me when and where. I probably shouldn't have done it but I did send him a reactive email back, this is what I emailed
You are taking her to *****?...I have no words...when I think that there is nothing more you can do to hurt me....you still can...and do...
Well I didn't follow the 24 hr rule...but I don't care...he can feel guilty if he wants to.
PEI - LOL
Libby - you know how this feels, your H has been doing this as well (((hugs)))
Jack - you are right...must focus on us
TG - we CAN get to a place that is detached with love <3
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
