What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[gatsby11]

He wrote back and said it looked fine but he wants to talk about it in person.

Okay. . . could want to discuss divorce too, I suppose.

[newmama]

Gatsby!!! I can't believe I missed this! Went to bed early.

I am glad you emailed your WH. Hopefully you will be able to set up a schedule. You have been so calm and in control of your emotions throughout all of this. And optimistic!

Something I have been thinking about, AGAIN, is that reconciliation for any of us does not look like the picture that I was meditating on...where our H just walks in one day, sits down and says "I need to talk to you. I've made a horrible mistake."

Not that you had the same vision. But it is BUMPY. Lots of false starts, potentially! I get this from reading/hearing of others's stories of reconciliation.

So keep the faith. Even if you TALK divorce...it is talk. I learned that much in my sitch...5 times of talking until he actually filed. So don't panic!!! And remember BD and her H have gone back and forth with the paperwork but nothing has happened!

[Piano]

Hi G, like your moves. I want to second BD. He is being a child.
Don't fear the talk - sure it will be fine.
Feeding can be very erratic; just when u think it is under control, the routine changes. Growth spurts at 2, 6 and 12 weeks will also mean increased feeding. I also have days where feeding is non-stop, every hour or 1.5 as you say. So hard to get anything done!!

[gatsby11]

Hey guys,

Well WH came over last night and then asked to stay. So that was nice. He swaddled the baby, like he had a week and a half ago when he stayed last. And oh my gosh that was the trick! For the past few days she'd been waking after 1.5 hours and fussing and it was really hard to get sleep. But a good tight swaddle made it so that I woke her up last night after 4 hours had passed to feed! It was so great!! (I fed at 11 pm, 3 am, and 7 am. Not bad. In fact, you could say that it was just 'once' last night!)

I'd been skipping a good swaddle and was doing a half-a**ed one. So now I am back to good, tight, arms down swaddling.

Since WH got here around 9, we didn't have much time to talk about anything substantial. Just small talk, and he talked about his yoga. I'm so glad he's doing yoga now; I think it is really good for him to look inside.

So still waiting on the convo. Will happen hopefully this week. Whenever we can get free time away from the grandmas!

Speaking of grandma, MIL said something. I asked her if she had spoken to WH about all of this. She said they've had many conversations. And she said she understands 'his side' and 'my side.' I said that I didn't understand his side at all. She said that we needed to talk. Yep, I know. (What is his side again? That he had to leave because I didn't cook? EYEROLL. Of course I don't know what exactly she's talking about, so I should stop assuming the worst.)

Also, facebook guy wrote back. He said I looked beautiful and that I had been strong. Well now. But he didn't ask any questions, so I probably won't write him back. (It's so weird how news gets around-- I haven't spoken to him since high school probably and I guess he knows my story! I don't know how it got to him, though.)

So that's the latest, off to check your threads now.

[Piano]

Hey G, you are doing so well! Keep up the good work with H. I think you are a great DBer.
Also, those are the times I wake up to feed also! Good to be reminded about the value of a tight swaddle!
Going off for a few days. Speak later & have a good rest of the week! HUGS

[gatsby11]

Swaddling not working, grr.... I think WH is the one who does it best. or she just sleeps better when he's here, don't know. He did say he wants to stay over tomorrow. We'll see if we can talk.

Thanks, P! hope your time is great.

She's in the rocker now and is just falling asleep. . . I can't wait to get some shut-eye myself!

[newmama]

Sorry to hear your D is not sleeping well! The first month- NO the first FEW months are about survival! But just watch- her sleeping will probably change in 1-2 weeks for the better. Not that it comforts you NOW. I know you are an awesome momma because you are smart,have patience and a whole lotta love to give!!!

S' sleep changed so much over the last year (duh!)
S used to only sleep on me or stbxh. I wanted him to fall asleep in his swing (he only did for the first couple weeks)We would try to put him down in his paknplay for naps and he would wake up instantly, screaming. It seriously took 3 months (I know, all babies are different) before he would take a nap in his paknpay and they were only 20 minutes because he needed to fall asleep on us for the first 20!

Then at 5 months, we started giving him solids and he slept 6 hours straight at night. He was still sleeping with me every night (I was nursing him for the first 5 months but had to stop to resume meds for Rheumatoid Arthritis)and I was worried he wouldn't be able to sleep in his crib, but actually it was me who couldn't let him go.

By 6 months he was sleeping 7 hours and I was a new woman! By 8 months he started sleeping 10 hours. ANd this was when I put him in his crib during the night... but I am so pleased I had the opportunity to snuggle and sleep next to him for so long!

Don't know if I could have done that if stbxh was in the bed. (I know lots of people co-sleep but it wasn't the lifestyle I wanted long term)Now I try to bring him to bed to sleep every now and then if I miss him extra bad. And he just kicks and wiggles that is not relaxing at all!!So am glad I had those times!

[gatsby11]

Sleeping 10 hours by 8 months??? AWESOME! Wow, I hope my little girl does that.

Don't know if I could have done that if stbxh was in the bed.

I am so glad that it's just me and baby at night. I can turn on or off lights, use the whole bed, do whatever I want! In fact, I was even thinking that if WH and I get back together, we should have a 2 bdrm and we can each have our own rooms! Maybe that's bad. But I think we appreciate some space. . . we'll see.

He's coming over tonight again. We'll see what happens!

[gatsby11]

couldn't talk about serious stuff again! we just hung out and took care of the baby and went to sleep.

i'm going to have to actually schedule a time officially.

[gatsby11]

So, tiny story.

Everyone was over (lots of family of WH) and we were talking about going out to eat tonight. The place that we're going apparently has a swing band. His mom asked "Do you guys know how to swing?" I said, "No!" And WH said "Actually, yes!" I said, "Is this a new thing?" and he said "yeah, I took some lessons recently. I'm not very good though."

Then there was some nice awkward silence around the room. Who was your partner, WH?

I avoided eye contact with him for the rest of the time. Brings anger back up all over again!

That's all. Grr.