embracing change

[flowmom]

Update on the possible OW "V". So I spontaneously casually asked H if he was in a R with "V" today. He denied it and I told him why I had assumed that. He said that he had been looking to widen our children's social circle and had been hanging out with various mothers and their children, including her. He said there had been some flirtation between them but that he had decided that he didn't want the children to be mixed up in any dating situation. I made it clear that I expected to be notified of him being involved with anyone in my circle out of respect, and that I didn't want to be the "last one to know". He said he was going to talk to "V" to clarify where things stand between them and agreed that my expectations were reasonable. I told him that I would let him know if I was dating someone in his fire department.

It was a good conversation overall, and gave me a chance to say a couple of things. But there was a serious yuck factor to talking with my husband about the etiquette of relationship notification . He still is the love of my life, and the only man that I am attracted to.

I need to figure out whether I am protecting myself by not being open with him about my feelings (protecting my dignity) or whether I am protecting him (not wanting to force him into the yuckiness of having to deal with my true desire, which is to reconcile).