Live in the Now!!

[ClingingToHope]

I understand that feelings change and people change...isn't M not only about love...but also about commitment. There were plenty of times that people in a M don't feel necessarily 'in love'....if you hang in there and work on it...does it come back?

I guess I've come to believe love is a commitment. I really struggled with the fact that happily ever after doesn't exist. I'm a romantic. And I acted out on it early in the marriage -- pouting when the sex became infrequent, not giving her space.

But last March I came to a realization that I wasn't loving unconditionally. I loved STBXW but I don't love her family. I love STBXW but I don't love how she spends money, etc.

We had a long talk and I laid it all out for her and for two weeks the window was back open. Then a couple of little things closed the window and I haven't seen the woman I married again.

In October, she said love is a feeling and she doesn't have it anymore.

I don't think she's capable of loving another man -- really loving them, accepting the faults and deciding for herself that this is her life, she chose it and she's happy with it.

I could go on and on. But I do think love is a choice and it can be a hard one. If another opportunity presents itself to feel that romantic, puppy love, my guess is it can be hard to pass up.

I never had that choice and I would hope I would have remained committed to my vows.

The easy way is to give in to that chance at the quick fix love ... and that appears to be what happened to Dan.