MLC Affair

[RLay1100]

So the reality of how WRONG (on so many levels) it is that my MLC H is having a secret affair with his nephew's fiance (age 19, he's 37) is probably not even considered by my H (due to the "fog")? He is having to share this young girl with his nephew (who she lives with), but tells her how he has never loved anyone as much as he loves her. (Loving her is "Heaven on Earth", he says. ugh) Ironically, the things he says to her I recognize as things he use to say to me frequently in our early years together. lol

It just blows my mind that he seems to have no reserve or remorse for what he is doing to his family (not just the kids and me, but his brother, his nephew, his nephew's baby boy...) H's lack of shame or guilt for the affair is apparent since he is always trying to hang out with his nephew and invites him over for parties and such just so he can see HER. I can't believe H can sit in the same room with his nephew and her and the baby and not feel like a slime-ball. (This nephew really looks up to him, too. :-/)

Of course, he denies everything to me, and then turns around and tells me that I have "T" (a male co-worker and friend) to thank for the break-up of our marriage. That if I hadn't been cheating on him with "T" he wouldn't have lost all love for me. He quizzes the kids about him and any other guy I might be dating now everytime they come visit him. ::sigh:: I NEVER cheated on my H. "T" and I did become close as my H began to be very mean to me, but there was never anything more than friendship.

Is all this just the MLC fog? How do I deal with this? There are times I become so upset with him, I want to "out" him and her- tell H's family about their betrayal to them all. But I doubt that is the right thing to do because that will just bring them closer, right? If I just leave it alone, though... is there any benefit in that?