We knew you wanted to stay in CT, but you only pulled back from moving when she made it clear that she would make your move a disaster. She doesn't want you in her town monitoring her life with her friend. It seems to me you are doing exactly what you are supposed to.
You are beginning to focus on the better you and deciding to be the 100% father. The only reason I wanted to see you move was the boys ... I never expected her to repent.
Now it may be time to unleash the L and go for all the custodial rights you can. Establish as many favorable rules as possible. Forget about throwing yourself on your sword - unless every drop of blood is backed up with parental rights.
Make it more attractive for her to live in town than out, with custody provisions prohibiting her friend from cohabitating while the kids are there. The agreement should make it difficult for her to enjoy being out of town. But try limiting your financial obligations in the agreement to what is standard.
Anything you give her outside the agreement should be a bonus for living in town and for good behavior. Don't fold your tent or surrender in the agreement. Your L shouldn't allow it!
Your CT job will make demands and you will benefit if she is in town, and happy. She'll be happier if she's getting bonuses you aren't obligated to, and if life there is easier than fighting you long distance.
Everyone will tell you what you should do, it's what we do. It only means that we want what's best for you, and for the kids. We don't much give a squat what she wants. She'll end up very well regardless; but still an alien.