I think it's OK to let go

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

STBXW is back to sending "Woe is me" emails.

She sent one last night out of the blue saying, "You said once that you didn't think I was broken, but I feel broken".

Made the mistake of responding like this:

"That doesn't sound good. Hope you feel better today".

This unleashed some lengthy emails about her and OM and how she inadvertently pushed HIM away.

Made the second mistake of responding to those with:

"I will not discuss the problems of your affair. I am all about doing the right thing as if God himself were here watching me".

Another page long "woe is me email" followed.

Note: It's easy to think as you move forward that your spouse must be moving forward too. Apparently, this is not even close to being the case.

[TimeHeals]

Just begining to wonder what I ever saw in my STBXW....

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Tired. Was up past 2AM because an automatic software update from work trashed my work VPN, and it took forever to figure out how to fix that (with no help from help desk).

Dogs got me up at 6AM.

Thoughts: to the tune of "These Boots" by Patsy Kline,

"These dogs were made for walking,
And that's just what they do
These dogs are going to wake you up
To go on a walk with you".

Tired makes me feel a little sad and nostalgic.

Note to self: get better sleep tonight.

[TimeHeals]

OK, I am completely ready for things to change. Something new would be nice.

Don't know what, but something different.

[Gardener]

TH,

OK, I am completely ready for things to change. Something new would be nice.
Don't know what, but something different.

I'm with ya. We're due. It's coming. I feel like I'm on the cusp. Something - something - right around the next bend.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Grilled two Ribeye steaks: one for me, and one for the dogs.

The dogs finished before I got started on mine and congregated at my feet while I was eating.

Youngest dog (very food possesive) attacked older dog, so he now has a cut above his right eye and a nasty nick behine the left ear. Was sitting on sofa and eating, so my hands were full, and I couldn't put down the plate fast enough to prevent that.

Nothing new with STBXW really. I told her I wasn't bringing her mail and stuff to a place she designated. If she really wants that stuff, she can come and get it. I don't work for her.

Haven't heard from her since that call. She was crying. The crying doesn't work on me anymore. I just remember this is somebody who could care less about me, and even though I don't want anything bad for her, I can't help her. Sooner or later she might or might not get tired of doing things to make her life a mess. It's not my problem.

[knightinneed]

TH you really have detached. I know you say I dont listen, but I have been at this like 3 months.

I guess i need to really observe the true detachers on this site. I often wonder how I can Love someone who is so cruel to me. I guess i need to focus on the pain, rudeness, evil within and not on the good times.

Thank you for your advice, and maybe one day my WAW will cry and it will not affect me in the slightest.

[TimeHeals]

Well, I feel pretty detached, so we shall see. STBXW is dropping by to pick up some things.

I don't expect much in the way of conversation. The writing is pretty much on the wall with this M.

[TimeHeals]

Well, that wasn't horrible. She came and got her stuff, then came in and played with the dogs, cried a little bit, and then left.

No crazy stuff anyway.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Tuesday night STBXW came by to pick up her stuff. She called twice to tell me she would be 15 minutes late,

Things were generally calm.

She sent a letter later that night thanking me for being "nice to her" and commenting on how good we get along.

She is going home (another state) for birthday/vacation for a week.

I responded next day "Have a great vacation/birthday".