Love is different, a magical, nonsensical, inexplicable, illogical, mysterious thing. Its not ‘fixable’. It cant be controlled, or taught to behave, as in the examples you give with teaching the kids to ‘do the right thing’. Why do we love one person and not another? Why is it that ‘love is blind’ and some people stay with partners we raise eyebrows at? Or that some people meet on a crowded train and in an instant feel like they’ve known that person their whole life and fall deeply in love?
I guess throughout the process prior to getting D and now going thru a D...I struggle with the concept of what 'real love' is. I don't want to go off on a tangent...but Ali's post made me think......
You hear the phrases 'Romantic Love' and 'True Love' all the time...and comparisons of the two are always made. Romantic love..like meeting someone on a train and just knowing. True love...like loving your partner when they lose a limb, or get a life threatening illness, or lose their hair, or gain some weight, or.....in other words- no matter what!!
I struggle with the notion of love being a choice. But I also struggle with love not being a choice. For example...your children. When they are acting up and on your last nerve...you still love them. When they take the car without permission and get into an accident...you still love them. When they tell you how much they hate you and ruined their lives...you still love them. The love never waivers.
Can you find that kind of love in a M?
I understand that feelings change and people change...isn't M not only about love...but also about commitment. There were plenty of times that people in a M don't feel necessarily 'in love'....if you hang in there and work on it...does it come back?
