This sounds a lot like my sitch other than the hugging and kissing- and frankly, I'm glad cause that woyuld really get under my skin.
My advice- and I'm not an expert but only where my path led me- is to "inform her" that the constant use of the phone for text or talk is disturbing; distracting and disrespectful to your child and you. If she asks why, it's because "it's secretive and makes you emotionally absent". If she says it's not then ask her to unlock the phone for you so you can have a look. She won't. Proves your point. "If it is not appropriate for me to see it, then it's inappropriate. Therefore, disrespectful. If you must use it, then I will only accept that you leave the room to read it or reply. That way you will also see how little time you are really spending with our child"
I would work a little more on detaching. What I've been told is her kissing hugging are a) guilt relief b)checking to see she can still spin your plate c) trying to preserve you as a friend (which you will NOT settle for) d)cake eating. You have to draw the line. You can't detach if she keeps physically holding on. She certainly won't be doing this after a D so why now?
Though it may not apply to you, have a look at No More Mr Nice Guy by Glover. Read it in an Indigo or something. You may find some perspective on how you are NOT getting what you want. I was afraid of conflict or making it worse. How could this be worse? Divorce is my last option and I'm in it already. Can't be worse. No fear. The Limbo Land is worse. Neither in nor out.
Are you getting YOUR two days a week where she covers YOU off to come home at 10?
