i do not want to discuss this topic anymore because it ends up in a major fight, and she easily manipulates the situation by saying that i live in a hollywood dream, that this is normal in every marriage, that i get it once a month and that's probably more than many other husbands out there--and it'a qualitative, and if i don't like it, then there's the door, and that i am never satified. stupidly, i usually turn around and wind-up agreeing with her probably because i see how angry i made her, and realize that i now have created the wall of silence, which always happens whenever she gets mad at me. the wall of silence can last for days--which drives me nuts!
therapy was all about me--about my "poor" parenting skills as not being a team player, that i always go against her better judgement, that i'm the nice guy and make her the bad guy--and the philosophy was that if i can become a teamplayer, then her libido would come back, because she would feel as if we were on the same team. i agreed adnd said that i would change and have been doing my best to be a teamplayer, and still she has no attraction towrds me.
now i've become trained in the way of holding myself back and not touch her or even say anything complimentary anymore, and that's the rub!
cozyp, I've pasted together these quotes from your previous posts because I think they reveal something about your personality. You come off very much like a "nice guy," i.e. a guy who tries desprately to avoid conflict and please his wife in the hopes of attracting sexual attention from her. That kind of behavior is a recipe for failure. Women are not attracted to "nice guys." Just the opposite. I strongly recommend you read Dr. Glover's book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy." See if anything in it resonates with you. Before you can expect your wife to desire you as a man you've got to be a man. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's advice that has worked for a lot of people on these boards.
