the whole irony of this is that she wants me near and close to her all of the time: going to the store, sitting on the couch watching tv, putting her hand in my backpocket or holding me around my back in public. she even calls me "honey" in front of people,and when we are in the house, but once i go over to her in a passionate, sexual, romantic way, she gets all defensive and annoyed and tells me to "stop, that's enough, can you go away,please?!"
now i've become trained in the way of holding myself back and not touch her or even say anything complimentary anymore, and that's the rub!
You might want to read Chapman's the Five Languages of Love to try to figure out what your wife needs from you. It sounds like she needs both quality time and touch from your description above, but I could be wrong. Touch is not the same as sex. In fact your wife might need touch (like most human beings) but absolutely not want sex. If that is the case unless you figure out how to give touch without sex you will be continuously sexually teased and frustrated.
You might pick up a book on foot massage or reflexology and ask to practice on her so that she gets her "love bank" filled with loving emotions through touch (assuming that touch is one of her languages of love). There may even be things that the two of you can do that she views as touching and you view as "sex-life" enough so you both feel loved.
Again good luck.
P.S. I am a touch person and would love to have my wife touch me in public and/or private in the ways your describe. One of our real issues in my marriage is that even during sex, my wife has a hard time touching me and about the only time she will touch me at all is during sex. In some respects, I envy the type of touching you are getting from your wife.
Should she not fill his need for sexual intercourse? Does the fact that her desire is low or null make a difference? "I don't feel like it", I'm sure all the times she wants a massage he will not feel like it but will obligue out of the love for his wife.
