The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Journaling:
As expected, stbx gave me a (yet again) revised copy of the sep papers. Weird though - she has always been very careful of spelling etc. Really bad spelling this time.
Anyway, as expected she wants to move out by the beginning of august. Tried to put it on me "as best for all of us" I resent that. But whatever right? I've let go, and it's time to just take care of the legalities and make sure I am protected at this point. It's not lost on me that this is a MLC of some sort. But her choices are her choices. She is lost in her own world and I find that sad yet I recall that it was her choice. I recall the mean and hateful things she has done and said. I recognize that this is not the person I knew. I have to be vigilant and careful as she tries to manipulate things to try and hurt me. She will. Of that I feel certain.
I suspect she will try to battle over the kids. It's really all she has left to try and hurt me with. But for the first time I am very clear on how that has to be handled. I know that I will NOT let the kids get caught in the cross-fire. They can do what they need to do and I'll give them that room. They deserve and need some room while also having a father with is faculties about him. I will be that father. Even if I have to let them go or not fight back in some circumstances. I am not a doormat but my kids deserve their own life and for me, this is temporary while the kids grow up.
As for the conversation via email yesterday - not sure why but she made assumptions that were untrue about the monetary situation. She also made assumptions about the agreement and tried to tell me she didn't want to put more burden on me but wants me to pay things for her to move out. I said no, I would stick by my original agreement and will. But I cannot accept the changes she made. She didn't think she made any so I asked her if she read the document from her lawyer. That was the end of the conversation, but I'm sure there will be more as the month wears on.
What really surprises me is that I don't feel a lot of emotion around this. This just is. Given all the time I was so wound up, to not feel very much is a surprise. Albeit a welcome one.
I've changed some things about how I view this situation. I'm back to viewing it as her journey and now I'm just letting it go as much as and as fast as I can.
By posting here I'm sure you can tell I still think about it. But I envision a happy future without her in it. I'm less caught between the two worlds than I was and I know I have to keep my head in the reality that is to protect myself and my kids. To do less is not an option.
I don't think that by thinking about it I am not detaching. I am detaching faster and more completely as time goes on. But I do notice her curiousity and jealousy if for no other reason than it is different than previous behavior.
This was not what I wanted. But since I'm here.....

AJ