Met with my IC today, which was good – her main point/idea was to discuss with my W the things I’d like to happen on our vacation trip, so that we both know what our expectations are (and to explore with her what things she’d be willing to do physically short of ML to begin the journey of reconnecting physically), which of course is contrary to your advice, Puppy/TG! (As I’m realizing that my tendency is to make assumptions based on my own internal dialogue (without talking to my W about it), instead of confirming/discussing things with her in advance, which can then temper my expectations/assumptions), this seems to make sense).
Also, I did apologize to W last night for having an “agenda” at the end of our trip (and not discussing it with her before popping it on her Sunday morning), which she was understanding about.
The “good” news that my W told me yesterday is that her ex-H doesn’t want to talk to her anymore (they exchanged some emails), as I think he has a lot of regrets about his role in the ending of their M (and has told her he had “a tough time getting over her”). Told her I wasn’t sad that was the case (but also feel like he’s saying that to gain some sympathy from her) and that, in my reading about infidelity, any contact with an ex- is “playing with fire”. Also told her the timing of the re-contact couldn’t have been worse for me, given her A and where we are as a couple – had it happened a year from now or 2 years ago, don’t think it would have caused me much concern/anxiety. She of course claimed there was “no way” that anything would happen with ex-H and that she had no plans (even before he broke off contact) to see him in person.
We’re both stressed getting our work done and preparing for the trip, but do feel like it makes sense to talk about these things before the trip (as in my mind, this was a sort of second honeymoon, as we had always planned/talked about going to Hawaii on our honeymoon (we had an Elvis “Blue Hawaii” wedding in Las Vegas, and a real Hawaii vacation was the perfect tie in)! Just mostly want to tell her I’d like some alone time with her without the kids (and that I know I need to get away from the focus on the physical).
Definitely looking forward to my final yoga class tonight!
