By showing her what YOU think a successful reconciliation effort needs to look like, and what each of your roles would be within that.
By communicating your Boundaries of Personal Integrity -- your "dealbreakers" -- and what your consequences are if she chooses to cross them.
By conveying your HOPE to her that your marriage -- with work -- CAN be an entirely new marriage, better than before, and that you have a PLAN for that.
By telling her that you LOVE her, and you hope she'll choose to work on you with this, but that your own personal integrity, self-respect and self-worth are even more, however, and that you will be fine either way.
