Sorry FFH. That is a hefty tax bill for sure. In my town, you can make payments on the taxes. I think 1/2 in January or February and 1/2 in July. Not sure if that would help in your situation or not. Selling outright in this market sucks, but you have to look at it like if the value of your home is depressed right now, so is the value of anything else you are going to buy. If your home value recovers, so will all the others, so do what you need to do to keep moving.
I am worried about the same things. Think about all of the doubling of expenses that now have to be paid. I'm not sure if I am going to be able to hang onto my house at this point either or am going to have to downsize just to stay afloat. Either way, I feel like life is just going to get exponentially harder. One guy I know figures he will have to live like a college student until his 3 kids get older. He is paying 31% of his gross pay in child support to his wife.
What a waste of time, emotions and money for something she will likely ultimately regret in the end......
I pretty much owe more then the house is worth right now. In order for me to re-fy to get her name off the loan was to pay down some of the mortgage.
I told the W that selling wasn't an option. She then started talking about the R and she didn't realize we were on the reconcile path and thats why she didn't stop speaking to OM.
She manages to put a spin on things that make her the victim all the time. I still have no idea what to do now, if she wants to reconcile I can't imagine how I would ever trust her again.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Do you have to refinance to get her name off the mortgage?
Can you afford the payments as they are now if she would sign it over to you? I don't know all of the real-estate legalities, but I am guessing the bank explored all options with you? They probably won't let her out because they want BOTH of you on the hook for the money.
Can you afford to take the loss and sell it?
Have you looked into the government programs for people who are underwater aon their mortgages? I know there are programs in place for people in that situation.
I know nobody wants to do this, but as a last resort, lots of people are just walking away from their homes and starting over. That puts you in a really bad place credit-wise though.
I know that none of these are good options, so just sit for a while and think about what you can live with.
I told the W that selling wasn't an option. She then started talking about the R and she didn't realize we were on the reconcile path and thats why she didn't stop speaking to OM.
Then what did she mean by "whatever it takes" to put the M together? I'm confused. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Exactly..... I'm not sure where the breakdown is with her. I have all of her texts yet she was confused. Sounds like she's trying to cover her tracks.
It's not uncommon for people in affairs (even strong EA ones) to BE confused, and to outright not remember important dates, facts, statements, etc.
The guy who mentored me used to say that he thought people in affairs instantly lost 40 IQ points. I think that's about right.
At a minimum, keeping two completely different "plates" (men) spinning, takes a lot of work, emotional toll, and attention to detail, especially when there is a high level of DECEPTION involved.
Exactly..... I'm not sure where the breakdown is with her. I have all of her texts yet she was confused. Sounds like she's trying to cover her tracks.
Well, so far it's worked for her. No consequences. Greek
I agree, she's got you right where she wants you. Plus she knows the house has got you all wrapped up in another worry. Get out of your own fog and start leading.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Lead - here is the plan for the future and where I am going
A. With You
- Transparency Plan on contact w/OM - MC/IC - Issues in your marriage and solutions on how to work on them
B. Without You
- Divorce - Sell House & Split other assets - Parenting Plan
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
