I had the conversation with the W. She didn't argue or deny conversation with OM. I really didn't even give her a chance to explain. I just went into my script and she didn't have much to say.
She said he is just a friend and she thought that a conversation we had a few days ago that I was ok with that. The conversation we had was I understood why she did this and that emotionally I wasn't there for her. I was ok with the past and it was time to move forward without OM.
To her it was a very confusing conversation apparently.
I guess my question is this. Prior I used to see the OM phone number and it broke my heart every time I saw it. It eventually got easier to see the number because I expected it. Yesterday I saw the number and I felt nothing, I think that's when I knew.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
She said he is just a friend and she thought that a conversation we had a few days ago that I was ok with that. The conversation we had was I understood why she did this and that emotionally I wasn't there for her. I was ok with the past and it was time to move forward without OM.
To her it was a very confusing conversation apparently.
Well, in fairness to your wife, I too was frustrated about how fuzzy and vague your conversation the other day went, so maybe she WASN'T entirely clear on your position? You seemed to me to equivocate somewhat.
So what agreement did you come to tonite, if any? How did you leave things??
Ok, so if you want to cut her slack, do it but that's it. I was totally clear on what you expected..but ok. Maybe she wasn't. I'm just going to say - and let it set - that I know and knew that intimate conversations with other men about me, my marriage, my hopes, dreams, FOO - were/are inappropriate. And calling another man first thing in the morning before I spoke with my H went beyond the pale.
Thumb down on this, FFH.
No more space, no more slack.
Thumb. Down.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I'm not saying she doesn't know it's wrong, Greek. I'm saying that sometimes, thru weak and fuzzy communication, one spouse can come away from an encouter thinking "My husband is apparently OK with a certain extent of my wrong-ness." I think FFH mishandled the Moment of Opportunity, left a loophole, and his wife is trying to drive straight thru it.
It really doesn't matter, b/c he's clearly closing any misconception now anyway, but I do think that maybe this was a classic case of a wayward thinking "Hey, he seems to be okay with all of this. He'll be fine. I can manage him."
I was crystal clear prior to our converstion on Saturday. I told her befor that if she is willing to do anything she needs to cut ties with OM.
I'm tired of hearing her excuses now and I've even started believing that he's just a friend. I told W that I'm moving forward with purchasing house and it would be wise for her to start looking for a place.
I hate that my son will be up routed but at this time I thing it's the healthiest thing to seperate and see what happens. My trust in my W is completly gone and I just can't look at her the same way anymore. I don't know how people get over an A.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Well, I just found out that purchasing the house won't be an option now. Not sure what the W and I are going to do but that just took the wind out of my sails.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
What changed? I am hoping to buy out my W too. If you really want to do it, are their retirement or other assets you can give up to "purchase" her equity in the house?
If it is because you can't afford it, what are you basing the value of the house on? Is it an actual offer to purchase your house? Or is it just an assessment or real estate appraisal? For me, I don't think I am going to rely on any value other than an official offer to purchase, unless the appraisal comes in really low.
I have a 401k from a previous company that I was going to use to halp purchase home. Come to find out the taxes that I will owe at the EOY will be 20k. That is just going to put me well into the red, on top of child support, and the regular bills on the home.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
